three gifts of christmas

Our sweet friend Katie Hughes is here as a guest on our blog again with yet another inspiring holiday idea! We are thrilled that she is so willing to share her heart and her ideas.

In her own words ...

The Three Gifts of Christmas

Through the years I’ve had several friends ask about our tradition of giving THREE GIFTS OF CHRISTMAS. First, I wish I could take credit for the idea because it has been so neat for our family. I attended an evening with the women in my church the same year my husband and I were married where this idea was introduced. I remember going home to our basement apartment and telling him all about it. He and I discussed this idea together and thought how neat this would be through the years as we start our own family and Christmas traditions. 20 years and 5 children later, this tradition is alive and strong and has become the central focus of our gift giving each Christmas.

We all know Christmas isn’t Christmas without gifts. We give gifts as a symbol of God’s greatest gift sent to the world, Jesus Christ. We give gifts to symbolize the gifts that the Wise Men gave to the Infant Jesus. And we give gifts to show love to our families and fellowmen.

But sadly, Christmas has become a season of present purchasing, equalizing the present piles for Christmas morning, and spending too much money on meaningless things.

Christmas, to me, is a matter of the heart. How we view and do Christmas is determined by whether or not we are allowing gift giving as an action that “leads us to Bethlehem.” And we know that as mothers, even from that first Christmas night, that it was a matter of the heart. In Luke 2:51 it says, “Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.”

Such pondering lead a woman, a mother of eight, whom I don’t know (but wish I did) to ponder on her Christmas, and most specifically her Christmas giving. There were only 20 in attendance that evening when she shared her story. It’s a story now when I look back, that I will forever be grateful for.

Her story went something close to this:

It was Christmas Eve, and after wrapping present after present for her 8 children through the month of December, she had both the exhaustion and the eagerness of Christmas morning in front of her. As she surveyed each of her children’s piles, she could tell from the shapes and sizes what each child had requested that year. When she came to one of her son’s piles, she noticed there weren’t as many gifts as the other children. It looked alarmingly small compared to the others. In her mind, she ran through what he had wanted -- and it was just one special toy he’d been asking for months. It was there. In the pile. Along with a few other things like some socks, some new books, and another small toy. But it looked so meager compared to the other kids' piles.

This lead her to a quick late night trip to the local Walmart to fill her cart with other things that would help his pile look the same in comparison to the others. She got home, wrapped the gifts, surveyed the piles . . . and this mother of eight went to bed with both the exhaustion and satisfaction that Christmas morning brings.

That morning was like the other Christmas mornings they’d experienced together as a family. Everyone seemed happy and pleasantly surprised with the gifts they were given -- happy that they’d received even more than they had anticipated. Later that morning as she looked around the room, she saw the boy whose pile she’d completed just a few hours before, only interested and playing with the one toy he had requested. Later she would find that he only played with that same toy for weeks after. A sick feeling came over her. And she vowed that next Christmas, she would change things.

She prayed. She pondered. She researched. And listened to her heart. And came up with the idea of giving THREE GIFTS OF CHRISTMAS, reminiscent of the gifts of the three Wise Men.

In the Bible, it says in Matthew 2:11, “When they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshiped him: and…presented unto him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”

What do we know about the gifts that were given to Baby Jesus? We know that they were symbolic, that they were meaningful because they were rare, that they had been well thought through, for each signified something important. Gold symbolized Jesus’ royalty, frankincense and incense used in the temple – his divinity, and myrrh, his suffering and death as it was a substance used for cleaning and burial.

This mother’s gifts would also have power and meaning. And she thought, too, that she could offer three gifts with purpose. Below are her suggestions and what we’ve done to create meaning to our gift giving each Christmas.

GOLD {The Gift of Wonder} wrapped in GOLD

These are gifts that tickle and delight. They are the gifts that are really wanted or desired – the gift that the receiver just can’t go without! A wanted toy, a planned outing, a season pass … something they just HAVE to have.

FRANKINSENCE {The Gift of Meaning} wrapped in RED

These are gifts that have meaning and express affection. These might include a memory/photo book, a quilt, a special doll, an heirloom, a childhood memento, a piece of jewelry, a treasure box, a framed photograph, or letters from the heart. This gift is extremely worthwhile and something that shows love.

MYRRH {The Gift of Usefulness} wrapped in GREEN

These are gifts that are truly needed. Look at your loved one’s needs and choose a gift that would be truly useful. These might include a new coat, a down comforter, or a new pair of shoes and socks. Use this gift for something practical yet worthwhile.

I’ve had many people ask me when I tell them we do this in our family, “Do you really give JUST THREE gifts?” And the answer is, for the most part, yes. Some gifts end up being “package deals” like a whole outfit or two, but the point is that our children know that these three gifts were given with specific purposes in mind.

It is hard to narrow it down to three. It takes time and energy and thought. And Santa brings a little something as well—so the tradition of Santa can be preserved, but the focus is on the special wrapped gifts from Mom and Dad—symbolizing those special three gifts given to the Savior long ago.

I hope this inspires you to consider how you give gifts as the holidays come and go. It has brought meaning and focus to our Christmases for many years and I will always be grateful for that intimate meeting all those years ago that brought a sense of direction for our family. Something my mom taught me is that it’s never too late to start a new tradition and I believe that the same can go for the way we view and do Christmas.