good life with natalie miller

Part of cultivating a good life is learning how to overcome self-doubt.

Self-doubt in all areas of my life has always held me back from being the best version of me. I've had to learn the hard way and feel that I have lost out on a lot of things. I doubted my talent as a business owner and photographer, doubted my motherhood, doubted my wife skills, and even being a good friend. I’m getting better at pushing through most doubts and trying to just LIVE, but it is a constant battle!

“You seem like you are so confident.” That comment is so nice to hear, but it immediately makes me realize how confident I really wasn’t and that I just “faked it until I made it.” I am a photographer who truly just loves it as a hobby and fortunately it has turned into a career! I am so thankful for it! But I would be lying if I said that I stayed in my own bubble and didn’t compare myself to other photographers and then got down on myself, which is where the self-doubt comes into the picture! I would quickly have to remind myself that everyone is different and comparing myself was not healthy. I let doubt hold me back and during those doubtful times I felt I had photographer's block. I wasn’t producing images the way I knew I could. I fell upon this quote that helps me when I feel this way:

“I cheer for people. I was raised to believe there’s enough sun for everybody.”

So instead of comparing, I decided to start cheering for other photographers. I was not them and they are not me. I can honestly say that I LOVE viewing other photographers' work. I think it is so beautiful to see how they capture certain people or things opposed to how I would. My self-doubt did nothing for me! Cheering others on and appreciating their talent made me feel more confident in my own work!

Doubting myself as a mother has been a vicious cycle. It is the most rewarding and precious role in my life, but it has been challenging to say the least! I became a mom at age 31 to a 7 and 9 year old. Their birth mom had previously passed away and I was the only “mom” they had here. I immediately tried to be the best mom! What does that even mean ... the best mom? Welp, I soon found out that it is not easy!

I doubted how I disciplined, rewarded, cleaned the house, if I bought good enough presents for birthdays or Christmas, etc. And here is that word again; I compared myself to how other mothers did things. Comparing isn’t always bad. I have learned a lot from other mothers in my life and I am grateful for all of their examples. However, now that I have been a mom for almost 8 years, I can now say that the way I “mom” wouldn’t work if someone else did the same things I did in their own home.

I had 3 babies back to back over the years and am still trying to figure out how to be the best mom. The best mom to my own kids that is! I’m grateful for my “mom fails!” Some are laughable and some are hard to get over. Learning to push through my doubts faster as a mom makes my home a happier home! I will never forget when my 3 year old yelled at me saying, “I don’t like you!” for the first time. It crushed me. I cried, I doubted how good of a mom I was, and couldn't let it go until one day I was told that until you hear your kids say they don’t like you just means that you are doing something right! LOL! I choose to believe that!

My 17 year-old son just recently got in a terrible car accident and as we were told, should have died! He was in a coma for nearly 3 weeks and had to learn how to do every day functions all over again. He is a miracle and my family has been so blessed by this tragic experience. As I sat there watching him sleep in his coma, SO many things ran through my head. I doubted how I mothered him and wondered if I was the best mom I could have been for him. Did this accident and near death experience happen so I could have another chance to do it right? Did I deserve this second chance? So much doubt and fear ran through my heart. I am happy to say that my son is doing well and thriving and will finish up his rehab and therapy this fall. We have all come a long way, and I am learning how to push through my self-doubt as a mom. I am choosing to focus on our miracle and not doubt what I am doing. I will never be the best mom, but I am embracing this second chance and will always strive to do what is best for my children.

Doubt has also lead to fear. I am almost 40 years old and am so ashamed to admit that I didn’t do a lot of things in my life due to the fear of failing and doubting myself. From working out to eating healthy, I seriously lost out on so many good workouts and a healthier me in general. I was afraid to fail a workout program or good eating with no cheating because I already knew I would fail. That sounds so sad! As I sit here and talk about it like it's in the past, I laugh. I battle this everyday still. I'm trying to push my doubts and fears aside and move forward. I yearn to be healthy from the inside out! I am thankful for this opportunity to blog about my doubts. It has motivated me to work out tonight and hope to be able to form a healthy workout pattern. I’m ready to not waste my life away in doubts and fears!

I will leave you with one last quote that I just love:

“We learn from failure, not from success."

In all aspects of life that is SO true! I want to become the best version of myself! Goodbye doubt -- I’m done with you! :)

Natalie was born and raised in Arizona. She grew to love photography in high school and continued through college. She has now been doing what she loves for abut 20 years. She is the mother of 5 amazing kids and currently resides in the west valley of Phoenix.

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