good life with jen levin
Part of cultivating a good life is understanding it’s ok to want more.
When I was 38, I had been married for 12 years and my children were 11, 9, and 6. Life was great. Like, really great! My husband had a great job, our kids were in a good school, I was taking care of our home, we traveled often, and everyone was healthy. From the outside, we had it all. Life couldn’t get any better. I was happy. But honestly, I was also slowly dying inside. I felt unfulfilled.
I woke up every day and went through the motions. Life was happening TO me, and I was pretty much showing up without a plan and no intentions. My kids didn’t need me as much as they used to, so I struggled to know my purpose. I often asked myself, “Is this it? Is this all there is to life?” In my head I beat myself up for not feeling fulfilled by the awesome life I had. I felt ashamed that it wasn’t enough and that I wanted more. I felt greedy for wanting more. I didn’t like the woman I had become either: tired, cranky, impatient, serious, and overweight. I desperately missed the fun, happy-go-lucky, spunky, flirtatious, spontaneous young woman I once was before I was a wife and a mother.
At the same time, though, something inside me felt like she wasn’t gone . . . she was just buried deep down under the stress, perfectionism, and Oreos. Wanting to feel like myself again outweighed the shame I felt for not feeling fulfilled. That’s when I began the journey back to myself. I found a mentor who listened to me more carefully than anyone ever had. She asked me tough questions. She got me thinking. She also encouraged me, inspired me, and taught me how to dream big again.
Digging deep wasn’t always easy. I journaled and journaled some more. I stepped out of my comfort zone. I tried new things and met new people. And you know what? It’s been the BEST work I’ve ever done. It’s been 1000% worth it. Doing this work on myself inspired me to be trained to be a life coach and I quickly discovered coaching is my something more. Showing other mamas how to reconnect with themselves and how to take care of themselves fills me up in a way I couldn’t have ever known if I hadn’t listened to the calling for wanting more. I truly believe we wouldn’t be given those longings for more if we weren’t meant to have them.
Saying yes to pushing yourself further, starting again, trying something new, or wanting more for your life does not mean you don’t appreciate what you have right now. I think it’s a good indication there’s more awesomeness out there waiting for you to claim!
Jen Levin is a part of our Creative Team using the Digital Product. She currently resides in North Carolina with her husband, two daughters (17 & 13), one son (15), two dogs, two cats, and Turbo the hamster.