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podcast show notes | episode 006 | check your marriage temperature

This blog post serves as SHOW NOTES for our podcast — Cultivate a Good Life. This is not a comprehensive outline of everything discussed in this specific episode. The notes, links, and tips below are just some of what was mentioned. Everything we’re highlighting here will certainly make so much more sense when you’ve listened to this episode. If you haven’t already listened, you definitely should. And you should also just go ahead and subscribe to the podcast. It’s good stuff. Also, these notes show up in the order that they came up during the show.

episode description

Our respective marriages aren’t perfect but you better believe we are putting forth effort to be sure our this most important relationship EVER get the attention it deserves. While we certainly don’t claim to have all the answers, we are happy to share advice and insights and experiences that just may benefit you in your own marriage (and possibly other valuable relationship as well!).

We invite you to be a part of this incredible community by following us on Instagram — @CultivateAGoodLife. Oh, and pretty please leave us a review on iTunes; it would mean the WORLD to us! Plus, we randomly pick listeners who do leave reviews, to win awesome stuff.

Link to this episode on iTunes: Episode 006


We are so grateful for this episode’s sponsor — JUTMADE!

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show notes

These are the main points we covered in the show. Again, keep in mind that these will all make more sense and be much more meaningful when you’ve listened to the episode.

Becky P. talked about how she and her husband like to tackle a new goal for each year of their marriage. She talks about building these shelves together for their recent 15th anniversary.

Think about your marriage / relationship categorized in 4 ways:

1 – A high conflict marriage

2 – A collaborative marriage

3 – A cooperative marriage

4 – The parallel marriage (roommates)

Tips to strive toward a COLLABORATIVE MARRIAGE:

1 – It starts with YOU. You need to be a whole and fulfilled person.

  • Become a whole person
  • Be physically fit
  • Be spiritually fed
  • Be emotionally stable
  • Discover your passion and engage in a life you love
  • Be in charge of your own happiness 

Important life skill: Monitoring your light. Take a look at and monitor your light level. What brings you light / joy / peace? What are some things that diminish your light? Do not let your light tank get too empty.

2 – Establish your marriage as the STAR of your life.

  • Your marriage has to come first
  • Do not talk badly about your spouse
  • Put your efforts toward focusing on the things that are amazing about your spouse. Vocalize it — and do this in front of your children or to your children about your spouse.
  • Be intentional about the time you spend on your marriage
  • Date night once a week
  • Be completely present

ABOVE: Becky H. shared an example about putting work and other cares aside to be present with David in working on house building decisions together.

3 – Work to connect with your spouse

  • Let your spouse know your expectations
  • Know your spouse’s cues..
  • Vocalize. Ask them what their needs are.
  • Be aware of things you do that could immediately break the connection.

4 – Create moments within your marriage

  • Make an effort to do something your spouse loves

Mentioned Resources:

Tamera Fackrel’s book about marriage

5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Study by John Gottman

Links to our Instagram accounts:




Email us. We’d love your feedback! podcast@beckyhiggins.com.

Spread the word! We would be so grateful if you shared about our podcast with your friends. Post on social media, text a buddy, whatever floats your boat. And leaving a review on iTunes would just make you our favorite.

Upcoming LIVE events where you can find us! Everyone’s invited!

  1. Nov. 9-10 is the Pinners Conference in Scottsdale, AZ. We’ll have a booth there for selling merchandise and visiting with anyone that comes by, and I’ll also be teaching a couple classes.
  2. Nov. 27 from 2-7 pm is our BH Favorite Things Fall Boutique at our headquarters in Peoria, AZ.