good life with irene jorba
Part of cultivating a good life is learning to let go of judgment and guilt.
How many times do you find yourself judging others, often people you haven’t even met, just because of something they said or even because of the way they looked?
I know that I do it often. It is something that I have seen all around me all my life since I was a small child. “Where does she think she’s going in that dress?” “How can he be eating that burger? He’s already so fat; he should take better care of himself!” “She’s pregnant? But she’s too young/old. She won’t be a good mother.” How many phrases like this have we all heard while growing up? How many do we hear every day?
I also think that people who judge others harshly, often judge themselves harder still. And with this self-judgment comes guilt, which is really crippling to live with.
A while back, I spent a lot of time pondering about this and thinking about friends I have that I admire. They all have something in common: they live their lives without caring what others think of them and they, in turn, don’t judge people around them.
In my life, I have come to know and love people whom I had initially judged wrongly. I have also learned that once you get to know someone, to truly know them, it becomes easy to overlook their flaws. And some of them even become endearing, a mark of character.
I made a commitment to myself: whenever these kind of negative thoughts come to my mind, I never speak them out loud. I also make a conscious effort to turn them around and neutralize the negative judgment. I will tell myself, “Well, she’s a brave woman for showing her personality that way. That’s better than just dressing like everybody else.” “I really don’t know if he does take care of himself or not. For all I know, it might be his first burger in three months. And even if it’s not, who am I to judge?” “That doesn’t make sense — my friend X was a mum at her age and she’s a wonderful mother.”
This is an exercise I do every day and I have faith that in time, these thoughts will stop coming to me altogether. I’m also working on loving myself better. Accepting my flaws and focusing on my strengths. Letting go of guilt, which I know will take me nowhere.
Changing your mindset this way is not something that can be done in a few days, but I feel proud of my efforts and notice the results every day. I hope that through my own change, I will be able to help my kids grow into open-minded, generous, and empowered young adults. I am happy to be on my way and enjoying every step of this journey.
Irene is a part of our Creative Team using the physical product. She currently resides in Madrid, Spain where her family currently consists of her life partner Agus and their two beautiful, black-eyed boys Lucas (6) and Miguel (1).