good life – by selena sorensen
Cultivating a good life is not stressing about finding the perfect balance but realizing I am good enough.
When contemplating about what I should write, my thoughts went directly to my current and constant struggle—balancing my life. I am a full-time mommy and wife with a growing photography business. Each week I go over all the tasks that must get accomplished, and I become instantly overwhelmed. I just can’t do it all. I am not superhuman. And due to my inability to find this perfect balance, stress often becomes my constant companion. Fortunately, I recently came to the conclusion that the perfect balance doesn’t exist and I just need to face the fact that sometimes I just don’t have enough time in the day to do it all.
I constantly hear about trying to find the right balance between jobs, home life, spirituality, relationships, social time, alone time, cleaning, nurturing, love, nutrition, exercise, service, family, friends, and the list goes on. Since I’ve had children, I have been fighting this persistent battle of balance that usually ends in a tragic defeat where I am left discouraged and frustrated.
I am constantly bombarded by Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram feeds with seemingly perfect and balanced lifestyles. Messages like, “Heading to the gym,” “Just cleaned the whole house tonight,” “Look at this delicious AND healthy meal I just made for my family,” creates these unrealistic expectations. And sometimes when I see these messages, it just makes me feel fat, messy, unhealthy, and overall just not good enough. It gives me these high expectations of myself that I know I can never fully achieve.
I can admit I am not an organized person by nature, so achieving this perfect balance in my life seems nearly impossible. Something is always falling short. Something is always lacking. My husband comes home from work and looks around the house in utter terror wondering what I have done all day long and why I look like a homely troll.
Little did he know that my day consisted of waking up to a potty-training toddler who had an accident in her bed, a teething baby with a fever, spending the day kissing “owes,” changing diapers, playing “tea party,” feeding the baby, dealing with tantrums, recovering from a meltdown, arguing with siblings, getting spit up on, and cleaning up a few more potty-training accidents! And the only thing I ate was a few leftover pizza rolls the kids didn’t eat for lunch. How in the world am I going to lose that extra 30 pounds, keep the house spotless, or hang out with that long lost friend if I can’t even make time to eat or shower? Some days it’s just not possible.
Luckily, I now understand that. I finally snapped out of this senseless stupor. I’ve come to realize that everyone has good and bad days. I may not be a perfect person, but I am slowly recognizing that I have the perfect life. My disorganized home is filled with laughter and cheerful, smiling kids with leftover food on their faces. I have a loving husband who is incredible with our kids and who will always help me when I need him. My messy home radiates love.
We have food on the table, and even though it may not be a five-star meal I found off Pinterest, I am grateful. I still have that extra baby weight, but my children do not see a “fat” mom, but instead they will remember something much different. They will remember running around, having dance parties, and making cookies. They will remember a mom who spent time with them, not a mom who was consumed in attaining perfection or rushing around trying to complete that last task on her checklist.
There is a season for everything and right now mine is home with my kids doing the best I can. Taking one baby step at a time. Of course, we all have important things to do, but just remember to stop and breathe. Take it all in. Snuggle your loved ones. Eat a cookie (or two). Take a break from the busyness of life and live it. My children are only little for a brief moment. I am not going to waste this precious time achieving the perfect balance. But, instead, I am going to accept that I am good enough and choose to be happy.
Note from Becky
Raise your hand if you’re in a similar boat / frame of mind / stage of life as Selena? (My hand is raised.) Of course we’re not all the same and our life situations are all unique to one another, but so, so, so many of us can totally relate with Selena in that constant struggle for balance between so many roles. So thank you, Selena, for sharing your very real, very relatable thoughts.
Selena is a personal friend and I pretty much adore her. She is also a professional photographer who lives local to us, and our family had an awesome experience with her photographing our family. And we love her so much that we’ve even had her involved in helping with a big photography project we’ve had in the works (which you’ll hear more about in the coming month or two). Selena is completely delightful to have around and I’m super grateful she was willing to share a piece of her heart with us in today’s Good Life post.