good life – by david higgins
Photo of David and Claire by Bradley Slade for Seeing the Everyday magazine.
Part of cultivating a good life is being there for your loved ones.
I grew up in a family where both of my grandfathers died when my mom and dad were just teenagers. Both men had cancer and both died relatively quickly (cancer treatment was not great in the 1950’s.) So growing up I often wondered what it would have been like to have a grandpa. I imagined that he would have been wise, full of stories, and just really fun to be around. Even though I never got to spend time hanging out with my grandpas, my life was full of stories of who these men were and what they were like. My Grandma Stewart was especially good about telling us about Grandpa Stewart through stories – both written and verbal.
Some of you know that Becky and I recently lost her brother Jonathan and one of our best friends Travis. Cancer really does suck. In talking to their families, the times they miss most are the everyday moments. They miss snuggling with their dad in bed. They miss him taking them to eat sushi or Buffalo Wild Wings. They miss him cheering them on at the soccer games. They just miss him. They don’t miss all the stuff we tend to think is important as the father and provider. As fathers we have the tendency to compare ourselves to others and often work harder and longer to get more stuff.
The thing is, they still have all the stuff and that doesn’t help relieve any of the loss or longing. If someone gave me one of my grandpa’s favorite possessions or something that belonged to my brother-in-law or my friend, I would absolutely trade that thing for time to spend with them. Especially the time when they were healthy and full of life.
As a tribute to amazing fathers of the past and future, remember it is the quality time spent with loved ones that is most important. If you don’t feel you spend enough time with your loved ones, make the time. Evaluate your priorities and shift your time to those things and people who are most important to you.
For those who have lost loved ones, tell their stories for them. Let them live through those stories.
Note from Becky
This little note that I add at the end of each week’s “Good Life” post is where I mention a little something about the author and how I know them. It’s usually a personal friend, family member, a professional associate that I admire, even our own team members (who are also my friends). Today I have asked David to share a few words, reflective of Father’s Day.
David is my husband of nearly 19 years and counting. I do not use my public blog as a place of professing my personal feelings about him, so don’t worry about getting grossed out. I’m not going to get all mushy-gushy here. This Father’s Day (and every day of the year), my heart is full for the men in my life – my father, father-in-law, grandfathers, brothers, and dear friends – that exemplify what fatherhood is really all about as they honor that most important role. I married the best of the best and feel grateful every day that David chose me and that our three children have him as a father.