Pocket Scrapbooking with Project Life

Cultivate a good life and record it.

Jun

15th

good life – by david higgins

 

Photo of David and Claire by Bradley Slade for Seeing the Everyday magazine.

Part of cultivating a good life is being there for your loved ones.

I grew up in a family where both of my grandfathers died when my mom and dad were just teenagers. Both men had cancer and both died relatively quickly (cancer treatment was not great in the 1950’s.) So growing up I often wondered what it would have been like to have a grandpa. I imagined that he would have been wise, full of stories, and just really fun to be around. Even though I never got to spend time hanging out with my grandpas, my life was full of stories of who these men were and what they were like. My Grandma Stewart was especially good about telling us about Grandpa Stewart through stories – both written and verbal.

Some of you know that Becky and I recently lost her brother Jonathan and one of our best friends Travis. Cancer really does suck. In talking to their families, the times they miss most are the everyday moments. They miss snuggling with their dad in bed. They miss him taking them to eat sushi or Buffalo Wild Wings. They miss him cheering them on at the soccer games. They just miss him. They don’t miss all the stuff we tend to think is important as the father and provider. As fathers we have the tendency to compare ourselves to others and often work harder and longer to get more stuff.

The thing is, they still have all the stuff and that doesn’t help relieve any of the loss or longing. If someone gave me one of my grandpa’s favorite possessions or something that belonged to my brother-in-law or my friend, I would absolutely trade that thing for time to spend with them. Especially the time when they were healthy and full of life.

As a tribute to amazing fathers of the past and future, remember it is the quality time spent with loved ones that is most important. If you don’t feel you spend enough time with your loved ones, make the time. Evaluate your priorities and shift your time to those things and people who are most important to you.

For those who have lost loved ones, tell their stories for them. Let them live through those stories.

 

Note from Becky

This little note that I add at the end of each week’s “Good Life” post is where I mention a little something about the author and how I know them. It’s usually a personal friend, family member, a professional associate that I admire, even our own team members (who are also my friends). Today I have asked David to share a few words, reflective of Father’s Day.

David is my husband of nearly 19 years and counting. I do not use my public blog as a place of professing my personal feelings about him, so don’t worry about getting grossed out. I’m not going to get all mushy-gushy here. This Father’s Day (and every day of the year), my heart is full for the men in my life – my father, father-in-law, grandfathers, brothers, and dear friends – that exemplify what fatherhood is really all about as they honor that most important role. I married the best of the best and feel grateful every day that David chose me and that our three children have him as a father.

COMMENTS

17 Responses

  1. Lori says:

    This is a really beautiful post. Well said, David. And I am so sorry for all of the losses your family experienced this past year. Thank you for reminding us what is truly important.

  2. Gela says:

    Well said.

  3. Leslie S. says:

    Happy Father’s Day to David!

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you for your thoughts on Fatherhood. Well said. Our family (my husband) specifically just made some huge changes in his work schedule. He now is working from home and is spending so much more time with our 2 sons (3 1/2 & 6 yrs old). We are so grateful for the change and appreciate every minute together.

  5. Aussie Mum says:

    You are all so lucky to have each other!!! Beautifully written David.

  6. Lydia says:

    Happy Father’s Day David
    It had been a blessing to meet and work with both you and Becky
    What a wonderful post
    My best to you and your family!

  7. Sheryl Pyle says:

    Just had this conversation with my sweet Daughter-in-law. Our son is such a worker and I told her they need to
    take time with our precious new granddaughter as time goes by way too fast and you can’t go back. There are time changes I would make if I could…sometimes we learn a bit too late. God Bless you David. This was a very insightful message.

  8. Susan says:

    Beautifully written, David. Thank you for sharing your insights. Happy Father’s Day!

  9. Dee Dee Driver says:

    Thank you David and Becky. It is so refreshing to hear a personal story from two people who love and respect each other and their families. Bless you.

  10. Suzette says:

    Beautiful! Tears in my eyes!

  11. Whitney says:

    Thank you for sharing this! My dad passed away suddenly at age 50, when I was a senior in high school. I would trade anything to have just one more day with him or for him to have had the chance to know my husband and daughter.

    Your advice truly hits home for me, and applies to fathers, mothers, friends, everyone. We need to make the time and evaluate our priorities. You and Becky set a wonderful example for so many and I thank you both for all of the inspiration that you share!

  12. Natalie says:

    We too often hear “life’s too short” or “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” and we all nod and smile, sometimes we even believe it. Whilst I have not experienced a great loss in my life yet, I don’t want to wait around. Stories like this reinforce it for me. My loved ones have my heart, but that isn’t enough, I strive to show them each and every day.

  13. I hope you had a Happy Father’s Day. Thank you for sharing some of your thoughts and feelings for all fathers. I love the photo of you and your daughter spending time together. I’m certain that she will treasure it always.

    Mary from NH

  14. Sharon Davis says:

    Today a dear friend lost her mother-in-law……over the past 24 hours we have talked about similar values……’you never get that time back’. Everyone should stop and spend just a few more minutes with those they love each and every day….one day those minutes will mean so much…..
    Thank you Becky, for lending us David and his thought provoking words…….hopefully we turn those thoughts into meaningful actions……Happy Fathers Day to you David!!

  15. dawn says:

    David, this was just beautiful and perfect. Thank you so much for sharing, sorry to hear about your grandpas but so glad thru stories we can keep them alive for future generations. Happy Father’s Day a little late.

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