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Mar

20th

good life with azzari jarrett

Good Life with Azzari Jarrett

Part of cultivating a good life is fostering love between your children.

I have always wanted a sister. As an only child, I remember having the full attention of my parents, but that never stopped me from wishing I had a sibling. 

My parents and I did everything together. It was always the 3 of us. I tagged along on anniversary dates. I always sat between them at the movies and held the popcorn. When my mom had conferences out of town, we all went. My parents attended each and every one of my basketball games and track meets. My mom likes to joke that they never spent the night alone in a hotel room until I left for college.

I distinctly remember praying with my mom for a sister when I was 5 years old. It’s only now I realize that God would answer my prayer in His own time. Instead of having a sister, I am now the mother of sisters – three girls. And it is such an honor to watch them grow and interact with one another and find their own unique place in our family.

As a mother of sisters, I have an idea of what sisterhood should be. In our home, sharing a bedroom is mandatory. When they were young, I dressed them alike. Daily arguments always lead to apologies and hugs. I tell them they are best friends – even though, right now, I know they are not. I am trying to plant the seeds of sisterhood, to instill in them a love for one another that will only get deeper with time.

Nothing hurts me more than when they argue. I have never had to share a room, share my toys or my personal space, or compete for my parents’ attention. And in those situations, I am not quite sure what to do. How do I explain to them that friends will come and go, but they will be in each other’s lives forever? How do I explain how deeply I wanted to have a sister and that one day they will be thankful to have one another?

When strangers see me out with all of our girls, I almost always get a reaction.

“Three weddings will be expensive!”

“Just wait until they are teenagers!”

“You have to comb three heads of hair every morning?”

But little do they know that I look forward to all of this because having a sister is what I so desperately wanted growing up. Yes, I comb their hair every morning. And yes, eventually they will be teenagers. And I look forward to each and every wedding.

Inevitably, someone will express to me that she is one of three girls, and I always make it a point to ask if they are close. And if so, what her mother did to foster that relationship so I can take notes. And the answer is almost always “Now we are, but we didn’t get along as kids.” 

I would like to think that what I’m doing is working. But I’m not sure if all of my feeble attempts are even needed…that in spite of me, they will still grow up to be best friends. And that one day they will laugh over coffee at all of the ridiculous things I made them do in the name of sisterhood.

Part of cultivating a good life is fostering love between your children. I will consider my job a success if my girls grow up to be strong, confident women who love one another and are involved in each other’s lives.

Becky Higgins Good Life Pinterest


Azzari Jarrett is a part of our 2016 Creative Team using physical product. She currently resides in Atlanta, GA with her husband and three beautiful daughters.

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COMMENTS

5 Responses

  1. Bev says:

    juast know they may be freinds as adults and they may not. The hope is that they will at least be friendly. It just depends so much on their personalities. I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. We aren’t really friends but when needed, they are there to support me and help. And when we are together we are friends.

    On the other hand, I had an only…a boy. He has found his *brothers* as he grew up and they remain close. It’s not always who was born your family.

  2. Nita K. says:

    This post resonates with me. My sister is 13 years younger, so our sibling relationship was different. We both grew up as only children really. I find parenting my two boys a challenge for the exact reasons you stated. I know it’s normal, but still makes me uncomfortable. Love this post about what I can do to foster love between the two of them.

  3. Patti says:

    Excellent post — I can totally relate! I have 3 daughters, now young adults. I bless God every day for who they are, what they’ve become, and for the special relationship they have with each other and with me. True, growing up they had a love-hate relationship, but that’s normal. Fast forward to today > even if we all live in different cities, the bond is close. Modern technology makes its easier, we try to have visits. We are always there for one another.. If they feel the love throughout their childhood it will carry through adulthood.

  4. Samju says:

    I had 2 boys, 2 years apart, who are the best of friends. We had 3 major rules, you behave for teachers and babysitters and if you fight it would be at home, but out in the world you would have each other’s back, no matter what. We ate dinner at the table most nights even if it was take out and had discussions about the day. At middle school age, I had to let them know that there would be times that I could not parent them the same, that although it might not feel or look fair, I had to do what I felt what was best for them as individuals. We had lots of discussions about friends vs acquaintances. They both have good sets of friends, that have each others backs but they also have each other’s backs. They each had their own rooms, I did not when I was growing up. Learning respect for siblings personal space and possessions are lessons that carry over to the real world. You know your girls best, trust your judgement and know it is a ongoing process. Talk about friendship and show them by being a good friend to your friends. Show them the work and the rewards of friendship. You may not know what they will “hear” or absorb until years
    from now, just keep at it. They also heard from me all the time that if they did something wrong (like drinking) that I would come get them at any time, for any reason without serious punishment. Drinking and driving, or riding with someone who had been drinking was a non negotiable. The punishment would be much worse if they did not call me. They always had designated drivers or took cabs. I did not try to be their friend, I was the parent. (As adults we are friends) Were they perfect, no, but I gave them every tool I could think of to do the right thing and be there for each other. Girls are different than boys, my observations are that girls drama can often get in the way, so you have to balance feelings vs tolerating too much drama. I have seen people fuel the drama and I have seen it go away when it is not tolerated. Getting the balance of respect for feelings and drama is a tough one. Keeping them busy so they don’t have time for drama helps, showing them how to handle things without drama will help, be an example and set high expectations. Sounds like a lot of work and it is, so try to infuse some humor and mental health days and trust that you are doing your best and enjoy the process. You will be dropping them off at college before you know it!

  5. Shere says:

    This was a very beautiful and insightful post. I am 1 of 6 and we are very, very close. The one thing that I think you are doing that will make all of the difference is that you are putting thought and effort into the process of building your girls relationships. Knowing that a relationship is built and requires time & effort is where I think some people lose the connection. Sometimes it is personalities or other issues but a lot of times we grow apart from the ones we love because we expect that because we are siblings, we will automatically stay in love with one another and that is just not the case. My sisters, brother and I are busy adults with families of our own but we make time to call and to visit. We spend time on each other, celebrate each others accomplishments, stand together when things are not going right and we love on each others children. We really work on staying connected and you are teaching your girls to work on their relationships and to care for one another. That will pay off for you all, in the long & the short term.

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